Interesting what a course can do to have an impact on how listening shifts. The play of listening for the underlying value, content, bringing into the conversation not knowing and accepting, all the while being present and engaged - participating. Relating is a lot of hard work and intellectually stimulating.
I am present to my life as choice. Everything I have, do, and be is all choice. Through Wisdom I understand we have a subset of conversations that keep one conversation alive and in disappearing that subset conversation we are empowered to disappear it, give it up, and take on a whole different kind of conversation and the way we see ourselves and others see us.
There are so many tools readily available and now it's being conscious of making choice and creating the filter through which I choose to view life and live into my future.
Suffering is optional
I choose to be alive, vital, thriving, growing, and connected
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women
Who is man to you?
What do you really think about men? No, really. Go ahead and make a list of every descriptive word out there that you can think of, all the good and not so great words.
Where do you get that idea that men are like that?
This is your frame of reference everytime you have conversation with man. That man exists all around you and in you too.
This is an amazing, absolutely phenomenal course every woman, every age needs. It's given by PAX and only for women. I have learned how I dimminish and disempower men without knowing and have been successfully doing this all my life.
http://www.understandmen.com/index.html
The other day with John I noticed he suddenly withdrew from the conversation, sat back, crossed his arms, and looked at me funny. I stopped and asked him what is it I said or did that had him disconnect, and he had no idea, although we noticed that something happened. I am a stand that every person be fully self-expressed with me, no matter what, and it was not happening.
After this course I totally know exactly what I had said and done that zapped his sense of him as man and king. The only thing he could do was withdraw from me, and he would have no idea I did that to him. Wow. I called John and apologized in general for whatever I might have said/done that would have him be that way and he was great with accepting it.
When a man is allowed to be totally who he is for himself, the man, then he can be there for me in a way I can enjoy. Both our needs are fulfilled. I know how to be able to have the kind of communication I have always wanted, to understand where he is coming from, how we think differently unlike what's out there in the books. This saves me soooo much frustration - you know all those times women get together and have "that conversation" about I don't get him... done.
I had a wonderful conversation with Mike, asking all kinds of questions and getting in depth and insightful straight answers resulting in an immediate understanding about him that I never had before. The palpable space of love was present.
We have masculine and feminine modes, and I can embrace both aspects and identify when I access them, or when he or she is in one of them. I know when to hold my peace so he/she can finish think and focus time so they can actually hear me. How many of you have spoken to someone, given information and later they look at you with surprise - you spoke to me about that? It's not personal.
We had a panel of four random men (yes Karen went out and found 4 guys out there) who volunteered to sit on a panel, respond to written questions (ours) and we were a captive, silent audience. They were just great, direct, to the point, and no kidding straight about their answers. They exemplified everything we had learned in the course, and we could also see their different male stages in life and how that looks as they relate to each other through the question posed. They could interject and give different viewpoints.
I heard their frustrations about relating to women who don't "get them" and how they just wanted to be there for us. I heard how when a woman operates out of not knowing it is interpreted as wimpy, out of integrity, two faced, manipulative, confusing. Relationship is needs based, and if I know what you need, I can make better choices - as can you.
Relating to men is truly very simple. Our society would have it otherwise - look at TV, movies, listen to music, e-spam, we have an adverserial relationship. Through this workshop, I've learned to work in partnership - what I've always wanted, strived for, thought I was doing. I get to see men as gifts, enriching my life and that of women all round - if only we let them without diminishing who they are.
Take the course, read the book and have an open mind, set aside the skeptisim and see what's available for you and every man in your life.
What do you really think about men? No, really. Go ahead and make a list of every descriptive word out there that you can think of, all the good and not so great words.
Where do you get that idea that men are like that?
This is your frame of reference everytime you have conversation with man. That man exists all around you and in you too.
This is an amazing, absolutely phenomenal course every woman, every age needs. It's given by PAX and only for women. I have learned how I dimminish and disempower men without knowing and have been successfully doing this all my life.
http://www.understandmen.com/index.html
The other day with John I noticed he suddenly withdrew from the conversation, sat back, crossed his arms, and looked at me funny. I stopped and asked him what is it I said or did that had him disconnect, and he had no idea, although we noticed that something happened. I am a stand that every person be fully self-expressed with me, no matter what, and it was not happening.
After this course I totally know exactly what I had said and done that zapped his sense of him as man and king. The only thing he could do was withdraw from me, and he would have no idea I did that to him. Wow. I called John and apologized in general for whatever I might have said/done that would have him be that way and he was great with accepting it.
When a man is allowed to be totally who he is for himself, the man, then he can be there for me in a way I can enjoy. Both our needs are fulfilled. I know how to be able to have the kind of communication I have always wanted, to understand where he is coming from, how we think differently unlike what's out there in the books. This saves me soooo much frustration - you know all those times women get together and have "that conversation" about I don't get him... done.
I had a wonderful conversation with Mike, asking all kinds of questions and getting in depth and insightful straight answers resulting in an immediate understanding about him that I never had before. The palpable space of love was present.
We have masculine and feminine modes, and I can embrace both aspects and identify when I access them, or when he or she is in one of them. I know when to hold my peace so he/she can finish think and focus time so they can actually hear me. How many of you have spoken to someone, given information and later they look at you with surprise - you spoke to me about that? It's not personal.
We had a panel of four random men (yes Karen went out and found 4 guys out there) who volunteered to sit on a panel, respond to written questions (ours) and we were a captive, silent audience. They were just great, direct, to the point, and no kidding straight about their answers. They exemplified everything we had learned in the course, and we could also see their different male stages in life and how that looks as they relate to each other through the question posed. They could interject and give different viewpoints.
I heard their frustrations about relating to women who don't "get them" and how they just wanted to be there for us. I heard how when a woman operates out of not knowing it is interpreted as wimpy, out of integrity, two faced, manipulative, confusing. Relationship is needs based, and if I know what you need, I can make better choices - as can you.
Relating to men is truly very simple. Our society would have it otherwise - look at TV, movies, listen to music, e-spam, we have an adverserial relationship. Through this workshop, I've learned to work in partnership - what I've always wanted, strived for, thought I was doing. I get to see men as gifts, enriching my life and that of women all round - if only we let them without diminishing who they are.
Take the course, read the book and have an open mind, set aside the skeptisim and see what's available for you and every man in your life.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Happy New Year
First I give immense thanks for all the learning, growing, transformation, gifts bestowed, openess, loving, kindness from all my friends, non-friends, family, environment. I am blessed with abundance, joy, peace, and inspiration.
Interesting how as one year closes all those feelings and thoughts are triggered and the noise of unfinished business burbles to the surface. Little did I know that I have an unfinished conversation about trust issues and men until that was triggered. I did all the Landmark things of tracing it to its root source so I could get freedom from my seeming. The pattern of behavior or perspective I've always had and consistently bring into every relationship with men is obvious when I look over the past.
So cool that tomorrow I have a workshop "Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women" given by PAX, designed by a woman who is coincidently a Lmk graduate. It lasts for two days and on the second day we have a panel of men who get to honestly give their answers to our queries. I'm truly excited about the upcoming course. So cool, little did I know that it was exactly what I needed to start the new year. That whole saying that the Universe gives to you precisely what you need and ask for...
John asked me today when will I be done taking classes. Given that it is my onus to maximize my potential, I guess the answer is I'll always take classes. He tells his students when they know everything about playing the bass then it will be time to stop learning.
Every year I begin it with resolutions, a list of to dos: what I want for myself is to be great in everything I am so that others get all of me as gift to them. I totally see that I am unique and have something valuable to others so they may have a rich life, and keeping that to myself is having an impact on their life. With this thought, everything else will fall into place and is secondary. Perhaps what I'm having at play is being of service, taking the focus off the me and seeing what's in it for society - having a huge impact on other's lives. We all die. This year will come to another end.
What difference would it all make?
What difference do you make?
Interesting how as one year closes all those feelings and thoughts are triggered and the noise of unfinished business burbles to the surface. Little did I know that I have an unfinished conversation about trust issues and men until that was triggered. I did all the Landmark things of tracing it to its root source so I could get freedom from my seeming. The pattern of behavior or perspective I've always had and consistently bring into every relationship with men is obvious when I look over the past.
Our homework tip is to "give it up" so I give up not trusting the male species and create for myself the willingness to being related, vulnerable and open in living my life fully, every moment with abandon.
So cool that tomorrow I have a workshop "Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women" given by PAX, designed by a woman who is coincidently a Lmk graduate. It lasts for two days and on the second day we have a panel of men who get to honestly give their answers to our queries. I'm truly excited about the upcoming course. So cool, little did I know that it was exactly what I needed to start the new year. That whole saying that the Universe gives to you precisely what you need and ask for...
John asked me today when will I be done taking classes. Given that it is my onus to maximize my potential, I guess the answer is I'll always take classes. He tells his students when they know everything about playing the bass then it will be time to stop learning.
Every year I begin it with resolutions, a list of to dos: what I want for myself is to be great in everything I am so that others get all of me as gift to them. I totally see that I am unique and have something valuable to others so they may have a rich life, and keeping that to myself is having an impact on their life. With this thought, everything else will fall into place and is secondary. Perhaps what I'm having at play is being of service, taking the focus off the me and seeing what's in it for society - having a huge impact on other's lives. We all die. This year will come to another end.
What difference would it all make?
What difference do you make?
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