Leadership

This is living into the future of almost finished. The District Honors art show is complete. In preparing for the event there are different kinds of leaders; the dictator who directs everything, the facilitator who allows other's strengths to take over, and the abdicator who does nothing. Many teachers like the whole sense of control over minute detail. That would not be me, and I'm thankful to be surrounded by detail, schedule oriented individuals.

In the space of planning, pulling together the event I tapped into the strengths of powerful players. Kelli had already organized the structure, where/when/how last year as lead, we as a committee had 98% of the teachers wanting it as a District art show. We even had dance, theater, orchestra performing.

Then as the event unfolded voices found forum around the letter/program design, posters, certificates. I made my fair share of ooops, re-writes, and slip ups. Hah! The evening was a huge success. A majority showed up, and a core group stayed to help wrap up. Today, Richard, Allison and myself packed and sorted the display panels with play, song, and smiles.

The reverberations of positives was truly outstanding. All our administrators were present - huge victory as none have ever attended previously. Everyone loved the location. Interesting, the consistently unhappy voices stayed unhappy and found things to be unhappy about and that was okay. The forward thinkers took initiative and became productive about setbacks, marvellous. I want them at my side when something critical happens.

What I learned about myself is that I do put my ideas out there to the committee and wait for their response. At some point, there is no response, I make a decision and just do it. I am in action and will accept the impact of my choice. It used to be I would wait for everyone else to share and then I'd say something - or not, be safe.

As a leader I receive a lot of flack - those unhappy individuals will murmur, rumble, grumble, and moan and I'm at the receiving end. It's totally about them and their dis - ease. I take responsibility for loss of integrity (my slip ups) and give them their voice. It's all about community and relating.

I can see why I worked so hard to avoid leadership, play it safe, keep a low profile. Now that I've a taste of being in the forefront, making things happen, I can see why people love it and are drawn to leadership, thirsty for more. All that discomfort around change is well worth the result of drawing out other's strengths to bring about a collaborative success.

Two months of Lead District Art Teacher, one meeting with studio work, one party meeting at the end, and I hand over the title to my friend and co-worker Susan. I will be complete with my leadership in grand scale. Learning to lead is ongoing. We are all born leaders - we just have to give ourselves permission to explore that terrain and find our style. Claim our birthright.

The inner city teacher is thankful 8th graders graduate and go onto high school and have the opportunity to get a job stacking supermarket shelves. The upscale suburban teacher speaks to the students as future world leaders who have a huge impact on the society. We live into the language we speak about ourselves and we create others in language.

Swing Dancing

Swing dancing is truly amazing, it's a unique conversation to have using a whole other dimension and integrates all the phsyical senses in silence. The reaction is immediate and requires being present, or lost.

Swing culture does not discriminate, you can dance, you say yes and you're on the dance floor. Tall, short, no fingers, one leg shorter than the other - you can dance. Time flashes by through play, laughter, movement, as various partners revolve through the music. We are all fed with the need for human touch where hugs, side pecks are abolished as safe greeting practice and shoulder pats relegated to the few deserving.

Ladies know guys names long before getting to know each other, same with guys. Some are there soley to dance, others in a mate search.

How a person asks you to dance, holds, sends out, spins, brings in says so much about their nature: structured, loose, forgiving, bold, dynamic, flexible. How they correct you also tells you something about themselves: the hyper-critical little voice in their head, the gentle soft voice of concern, the non-emotional "just the facts" approach. How fast can they learn a dance step and make it their own - or can they? Do they give up easily or stay? Do they only ask safe partners that make them look good? Truly fascinating.

We are used to a culture of expressive spoken language, and within the dance community a whole different world of language exposes us through behavior. Who are we for each other, how we relate through the medium of dance, we represent a small proportion of the population who enjoy moving our bodies through music. Used to be every culture, every age integrated dance ritual as norm.

There is a distinct difference between dancing with the other and dancing by yourself. Sometimes it's easier to get lost into the music and forget the other exists, ideally it's the melding of the music, communication with the other which makes for a fabulous, fun moment.

My feet hurt, danced till 11:00 last night and the night before, and will do once again on Saturday night. It's March Break. Met Joan for lunch and she says there is a time for harvest in life. Harvest to her is: after she's worked through all the ups and downs, the kids are all grown up, have their own lives, she reaps the joy of enjoying her grandchildren. Her family is everything to her. She had her kids stay in State university so they would be married in State and perpetuate the next generation close at hand. I love her because she is centered, a far thinking woman for what works for her. This time round, Joan did not ask me any deep thinking questions, she gave whole bunches of insights, narratives, and examples. She was full of abundance.

There are not many things I'm truly committed to every day. Through my behaviors dance is a priority, building a relationship with Mike, maintaining my connection with Nina, being a teacher who makes a difference, oh and developing myself intrinsically - that's about it. Everything else is a side dish: volunteering, spending time with friends, discovering new places to eat/have fun, traveling, taking on leadership positions, working on my art, starting a new exhibit for the art teachers, catching up on the house.

Behaviors says a lot about you, on the dance floor and off.

Wisdom Journal

This is my second year of Wisdom, and this time as an Accomplishment Team Member. What does this mean? As graduate I sit at the back of the room along with 14 others and watch the participants process themselves and get their insights. We listen to their shares and learn who they are becoming.

My first weekend was this past one and what I saw was how my behavior was so much like theirs: significant, really have to do this, coming from a point of "there's something to fix." Today, none of that exists - just a sense of peacefulness and ease in taking any class or learning anything. Play comes easily to me, as in trying something from a whole different approach - physically, emotionally, mentally - more a sense of exploration.

People who have met me say I've grown/changed, and it's something I can't see for myself, until sitting in the back of the room, watching others who remind me of myself a year ago where play was non-existent and I was full of rigor with huge demands on myself and my time.

I get to repeat the Wisdom course in service - so it's free. In the room I am confronted with the conversation around being "transparent" since it's their course and about them. I lived the greater part of my life "hiding," hiding in the kitchen whipping up great foods, hiding behind the loudest person so I wouldn't have to speak. What came up for me is "I'm invisible once again." This time it's being transparent to be of service and having the opportunity to listen so who I am can make a difference in someone's insights. Sometimes a person needs to speak into someone's listening so they can be validated and see for themselves a life they want or need to release. Out of that growth happens on their part and mine. In hiding I am stifled, in transparency I am grounded.

What I want out of this course is the ability to listen to another in a way I have never done before, that's it's really about them, listen past their concerns to what's really needed, and allow them a space for creating themselves in adult as possibility. Generous listening.

I am continually confronted by my integrity, honoring my word, the integrity within my community - how did I contribute to breakdown, where does it need to be restored.

The second Wisdom Weekend is going to be in Alberqueque and we'll car pool with Anne offering her palatial home. Always wanted to hang out in Alberqueque - may even head off to Sante Fe with camera in tow.

One of the homework assignments this weekend was to amp up the feelings. However you are feelling in the moment, amp it up a little, turn up the volume a little. Right now I'm feeling raw and exposed, vulnerable, and it's okay. We live our lives stuffing feelings and emotions, our primary language, it's also how all thoughts get processed first - according to research.