Wisdom Journal

This is my second year of Wisdom, and this time as an Accomplishment Team Member. What does this mean? As graduate I sit at the back of the room along with 14 others and watch the participants process themselves and get their insights. We listen to their shares and learn who they are becoming.

My first weekend was this past one and what I saw was how my behavior was so much like theirs: significant, really have to do this, coming from a point of "there's something to fix." Today, none of that exists - just a sense of peacefulness and ease in taking any class or learning anything. Play comes easily to me, as in trying something from a whole different approach - physically, emotionally, mentally - more a sense of exploration.

People who have met me say I've grown/changed, and it's something I can't see for myself, until sitting in the back of the room, watching others who remind me of myself a year ago where play was non-existent and I was full of rigor with huge demands on myself and my time.

I get to repeat the Wisdom course in service - so it's free. In the room I am confronted with the conversation around being "transparent" since it's their course and about them. I lived the greater part of my life "hiding," hiding in the kitchen whipping up great foods, hiding behind the loudest person so I wouldn't have to speak. What came up for me is "I'm invisible once again." This time it's being transparent to be of service and having the opportunity to listen so who I am can make a difference in someone's insights. Sometimes a person needs to speak into someone's listening so they can be validated and see for themselves a life they want or need to release. Out of that growth happens on their part and mine. In hiding I am stifled, in transparency I am grounded.

What I want out of this course is the ability to listen to another in a way I have never done before, that's it's really about them, listen past their concerns to what's really needed, and allow them a space for creating themselves in adult as possibility. Generous listening.

I am continually confronted by my integrity, honoring my word, the integrity within my community - how did I contribute to breakdown, where does it need to be restored.

The second Wisdom Weekend is going to be in Alberqueque and we'll car pool with Anne offering her palatial home. Always wanted to hang out in Alberqueque - may even head off to Sante Fe with camera in tow.

One of the homework assignments this weekend was to amp up the feelings. However you are feelling in the moment, amp it up a little, turn up the volume a little. Right now I'm feeling raw and exposed, vulnerable, and it's okay. We live our lives stuffing feelings and emotions, our primary language, it's also how all thoughts get processed first - according to research.