Memory Game

This has everything to growing those dendrites, it's what I keep telling my students, everything you do in this class is to grow dendrites. It bypasses that argument of how is this relevant to my life as a doctor/accountant/lawyer... except this site is for everyone and anyone out there in or out of school.

http://www.happy-neuron.com/

On Saturday I went for my City Team training, and it's so wonderful that we are to get out of being in an assisting agreement twice more than we put in. So there's a whole bunch of "what's in it for me" to balance off the whole idea of being contribution. Nurturing and replenishing the self first to be of service.

Being with and allowing the other to be with themselves and you is huge. The creation of a space to exist for everything you are and everything you are not. Acceptance. Loving of the other is acceptance.

Having and doing is the act of surviving, we do abc to have xyz. What do we need to do next, and then we'll have the results that we want which leads into being .... happy, successful.....

Living a life you love goes beyond surviving.

In connecting with the other, it's being, how you are being to be related: as in being a jerk, being considerate, being generous, being abundant, being courageous... sometimes, we have to give up one state of being to take on another. Give up "being right" to take on being acceptance. It takes a special kind of listening for yourself, the space you're in, and the other to see what needs to happen. Our whole lives are given to being right, avoid dominating, dominating, resisting, we see it in movies, hear it in songs, read about it... to step into giving that kind of learned behavior up and take on being something that makes a difference takes courage. Something worthy, different, and unusual opens up for both parties.

It is in being that we are driven to do (our being drives our actions... being a jerk drives the action of harsh sounding words, gestures, and actions; being generous is held in the body, voice, gestures, actions...) in so doing then we end up having the results we crave, such as freedom, affinity, relatedness. Sometimes, it's the split second act of giving up a behavior and supplanting it with something that's powerful which will transform the situation immediately.

Here's an example. I was starving before my Lindy Hop class. Walked into a place, picked up chocolate nuts and water bottle and waited in line to pay. The young guy was taking his forever time to haul out his wallet, take out his change (you know the story). I was being the jerk, rolling my eyes, body language tight, tapping foot, sigh. I could totally tell this was not cool behavior and my starving stomach was unhappy. Being a jerk is held in the body, break the body language and it breaks the pattern. Since I couldn't mentally give up my discomfort. I physically changed my stance, literally shook my arms, looked up, puffed my chest up, took a breathe, smiled. Immediately, I saw the impact of my behavior.

The teller and young man were tense, constrained, and each making the other wrong, glaring, looking down. I immediately said I was sorry for my behavior, told him to take his time (all with real smiles and warm voice). He then said it was his first time he had eaten since the morning (it was 5pm). In that moment everyone was relaxed and the tension lifted. My whole occuring world shifted to one of peace, acceptance, and love.

It takes one person to change a relationship.
Will that be you?