Being organized is my focus. My Teaching Assistants are naturally, super organized. I am blessed to have their help in getting me structured with file cabinets, handouts, and keeping up with grading, returning work. They love this stuff and bounce back looking for more.
Part of being a manager is assigning work to someone else whose really good at that job.
My goal this year is to be a fabulous high school art teacher with exciting, in depth lessons that teach to different modalities and ensure success. Keeping up with professional responsibilities is a huge part of teaching, and having students who help keep me organized and structured is such a blessing. Organization gives me breathing space to function. It's about being in the job a year, running through the lessons, getting who the kids are, knowing how to work with my colleagues, and then sensing what needs to happen and how.
Being organized is taking responsibility, putting structures in place to support efficient action. It's the balance and the base from which my impulsive, spontaniety, and putting all my energy into just being "out there" is released. The yin and yang of life.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
Being Straight
What I learned today is how I'm given to being nice with adults. I can be straight with my kids because I know that's what they need to hear. It's pretty straightforward, you do this, here's the consequence. You behave like that this is the outcome. No emotions, nothing. It's just fact.
Kids can listen to that (or not) and that's okay. They'll get it in their own way - either through reward of the outcome or feeling it's negative consequence.
Today, I had to be straight and describe someone's behavior and the impact it has on everyone including myself. What a huge relief. I've been trying to help someone in every way possible and after a while it's really up to them to step up and help themselves. What I tell my kids is I'm paddling 100% for your success, you have to be paddling 100% for your own success. This business of splash, splash then coast is not going to work.
If everyone could get a sense of the immense impact their behavior has on everyone in their life, on every facet of their life, they would have an amazing, extraordinary life of freedom, fun, and play. Things would open up in the most unbelievable way.
Today, I took a dose of the being straight vitamin.
Kids can listen to that (or not) and that's okay. They'll get it in their own way - either through reward of the outcome or feeling it's negative consequence.
Today, I had to be straight and describe someone's behavior and the impact it has on everyone including myself. What a huge relief. I've been trying to help someone in every way possible and after a while it's really up to them to step up and help themselves. What I tell my kids is I'm paddling 100% for your success, you have to be paddling 100% for your own success. This business of splash, splash then coast is not going to work.
If everyone could get a sense of the immense impact their behavior has on everyone in their life, on every facet of their life, they would have an amazing, extraordinary life of freedom, fun, and play. Things would open up in the most unbelievable way.
Today, I took a dose of the being straight vitamin.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Ideals, Expectations and What's Possible
I did not write this, Nancy Zapolski did. She is truly insightful, amazing and I want to share this with you.
From the words of poets throughout the ages to Zadie Smith’s latest novel, On Beauty, to novelist and philosopher Umberto Eco’s comments, beauty gets a lot of ink. “Beauty is a mess, a sinkhole, a trap,” says Eco. “Approach it philosophically, and you risk getting bogged down in questions of idealism, empiricism, subjectivity, and objectivity. Plato began the conversation, Kant tried to finish it. Take a cultural run at it, and you’re stumbling over issues of relativism, where nothing is either beautiful or ugly but time, class, nation, or ethnicity makes it so.”
These issues of relativism, of arbitrary ideals and standards, become so real and unquestioned, they become powerful yet mostly invisible determinants that shape our lives.
We traffic daily in concepts like beauty, success, generosity, intelligence—they hold a place in every peer group, every community, every culture around the world. They exist as ideals, expectations, and standards. While their specific expressions and definitions vary from place to place, situation to situation—in one country beautiful means Rubenesque, in another, wafer thin—we all strive for ideals. They are the measures we use every day—to see where we stand, how we fit in, how we stack up.
Ideals have enormous practical value. They can be powerful catalysts motivating us to open new frontiers, excel in sports, establish such principles as justice and democracy, or set benchmarks for educational, medical, and technological progress. They permeate every aspect of our lives. Ideals can awaken passion and an urgency that calls forth excellence, persistence, and going beyond our perceived limits, allowing for something new and surprising to emerge.
There is also a downside. One that is subtle, grows, and over time can take hold.
The dictionary defines “ideal” as being a model or archetype, something thought of as perfect, or exactly as one would wish. When we are driven by the ideal, we almost by definition fall short. Holding on to an ideal, while spurring us on, can also keep us from seeing what else is possible. We can’t imagine what we might create or do because we are held captive by the particular ideal we hold in our minds.
An ideal can become a “failed possibility”—a possibility that wasn’t achieved, but one that stays around as something that is not possible, now or perhaps ever. A failed possibility is something like when we make up our minds to handle something in a particular way and we don’t—for example, we mean to be compassionate, but we find ourselves judging; we want to speak up, go for the promotion, make our contribution, but find ourselves not taking action.
When that happens we see ourselves as having failed in some way. It’s not just that a thing failed, but that we failed. To the degree that the characteristics or properties with which we identify ourselves are ideals—beautiful, magnanimous, successful, whatever—we decide we don’t have what it takes, and who we are becomes diminished.
Now, throw into the mix “expectations.” Expectations can be considered a possibility that we’ve destroyed as a possibility, because we counted on it. If, for example, we really study and think we’re going to get a high grade on an exam, or we train hard to make the cut for a sports team, but it doesn’t pan out—what lived for us as a possibility, but failed, can leave us questioning ourselves, and the stuff of which we are made. We then try to go out and create a new possibility, but against a backdrop that negates it. We stop trusting the possibilities we create, we turn down the dials, adjust and accommodate—we settle for less. Possibilities devolve into ideals, and ideals begin to masquerade as possibility. We lose our power.
How we relate to our setbacks and circumstances has everything to do with what’s possible. Responses like “it’s not my fault,” “I didn’t invent the rules,” or “it just happened that way” might seem legitimate but leave us paying a price—the price is a loss of power. Responsibility—acknowledging our cause in the matter, seeing where we have been inauthentic, taking whatever actions we need to take, and telling the truth about it—is key to restoring and having power.
It’s not that the ideal or expectation is bad, by any means, it’s collapsing the two and relating to them in the same way that power is lost. As shown in the diagram, an expectation or ideal unfulfilled leads to a lack of power, where a possibility unfulfilled still leads to a possibility—and no loss of power or freedom.
Access to restoring our power is in language. When we’re clear that we’ve got something to say about who we are, we can separate out our interpretation from the circumstance—the disparity between something that happened, and the possibility of who we are. What we say to ourselves and about ourselves, silently and out loud, once or a million times, shapes our possibilities for being. Our ideals, standards, and expectations occur in language. Our reluctance, accommodation, and powerlessness occur in language. But language is also the home—the only home—of possibility. What determines whether possibility (a creative act) or failed possibility (an ideal masquerading as possibility) will carry the day is up to each of us. The choice is ours.
This is the crux of what I learn in Landmark Education; it's about what it is to be human, being with our own humanity, confronting what needs to be confronted, having compassion for ourselves and others, empowering ourselves so we can make the difference, be the gift and enrich society. Nancy is a seasoned seminar leader - who volunteers her time so we can be all of our possibility.
From the words of poets throughout the ages to Zadie Smith’s latest novel, On Beauty, to novelist and philosopher Umberto Eco’s comments, beauty gets a lot of ink. “Beauty is a mess, a sinkhole, a trap,” says Eco. “Approach it philosophically, and you risk getting bogged down in questions of idealism, empiricism, subjectivity, and objectivity. Plato began the conversation, Kant tried to finish it. Take a cultural run at it, and you’re stumbling over issues of relativism, where nothing is either beautiful or ugly but time, class, nation, or ethnicity makes it so.”
These issues of relativism, of arbitrary ideals and standards, become so real and unquestioned, they become powerful yet mostly invisible determinants that shape our lives.
We traffic daily in concepts like beauty, success, generosity, intelligence—they hold a place in every peer group, every community, every culture around the world. They exist as ideals, expectations, and standards. While their specific expressions and definitions vary from place to place, situation to situation—in one country beautiful means Rubenesque, in another, wafer thin—we all strive for ideals. They are the measures we use every day—to see where we stand, how we fit in, how we stack up.
Ideals have enormous practical value. They can be powerful catalysts motivating us to open new frontiers, excel in sports, establish such principles as justice and democracy, or set benchmarks for educational, medical, and technological progress. They permeate every aspect of our lives. Ideals can awaken passion and an urgency that calls forth excellence, persistence, and going beyond our perceived limits, allowing for something new and surprising to emerge.
There is also a downside. One that is subtle, grows, and over time can take hold.
The dictionary defines “ideal” as being a model or archetype, something thought of as perfect, or exactly as one would wish. When we are driven by the ideal, we almost by definition fall short. Holding on to an ideal, while spurring us on, can also keep us from seeing what else is possible. We can’t imagine what we might create or do because we are held captive by the particular ideal we hold in our minds.
An ideal can become a “failed possibility”—a possibility that wasn’t achieved, but one that stays around as something that is not possible, now or perhaps ever. A failed possibility is something like when we make up our minds to handle something in a particular way and we don’t—for example, we mean to be compassionate, but we find ourselves judging; we want to speak up, go for the promotion, make our contribution, but find ourselves not taking action.
When that happens we see ourselves as having failed in some way. It’s not just that a thing failed, but that we failed. To the degree that the characteristics or properties with which we identify ourselves are ideals—beautiful, magnanimous, successful, whatever—we decide we don’t have what it takes, and who we are becomes diminished.
Now, throw into the mix “expectations.” Expectations can be considered a possibility that we’ve destroyed as a possibility, because we counted on it. If, for example, we really study and think we’re going to get a high grade on an exam, or we train hard to make the cut for a sports team, but it doesn’t pan out—what lived for us as a possibility, but failed, can leave us questioning ourselves, and the stuff of which we are made. We then try to go out and create a new possibility, but against a backdrop that negates it. We stop trusting the possibilities we create, we turn down the dials, adjust and accommodate—we settle for less. Possibilities devolve into ideals, and ideals begin to masquerade as possibility. We lose our power.
How we relate to our setbacks and circumstances has everything to do with what’s possible. Responses like “it’s not my fault,” “I didn’t invent the rules,” or “it just happened that way” might seem legitimate but leave us paying a price—the price is a loss of power. Responsibility—acknowledging our cause in the matter, seeing where we have been inauthentic, taking whatever actions we need to take, and telling the truth about it—is key to restoring and having power.
It’s not that the ideal or expectation is bad, by any means, it’s collapsing the two and relating to them in the same way that power is lost. As shown in the diagram, an expectation or ideal unfulfilled leads to a lack of power, where a possibility unfulfilled still leads to a possibility—and no loss of power or freedom.
Access to restoring our power is in language. When we’re clear that we’ve got something to say about who we are, we can separate out our interpretation from the circumstance—the disparity between something that happened, and the possibility of who we are. What we say to ourselves and about ourselves, silently and out loud, once or a million times, shapes our possibilities for being. Our ideals, standards, and expectations occur in language. Our reluctance, accommodation, and powerlessness occur in language. But language is also the home—the only home—of possibility. What determines whether possibility (a creative act) or failed possibility (an ideal masquerading as possibility) will carry the day is up to each of us. The choice is ours.
This is the crux of what I learn in Landmark Education; it's about what it is to be human, being with our own humanity, confronting what needs to be confronted, having compassion for ourselves and others, empowering ourselves so we can make the difference, be the gift and enrich society. Nancy is a seasoned seminar leader - who volunteers her time so we can be all of our possibility.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Annonymous Good Deed
I am a clearing for generosity showing up at my door.
In cleaning up Nina's bedroom aka storage room (in my quest to collect Nina stuff for taking to Europe) I came across 15 telephone directories - all huge. I walked outside, and yet another set was waiting for me on the driveway, and as I brought it in, I noticed one more sitting on the desk waiting to be moved.
I went to dinner with David last night for our Velocity group meeting and requested we sit at a table since my legs dangle in booths and the table reaches up to my chin (well almost). I thanked him for his generosity. Part of our initiative is "Granting Being." So I could have made him wrong during the evening, I granted being and placed myself in acceptance (which equates to love). He settled, opened up, and started sharing also how great his life was and how much he had accomplished in a short space of time. At the end of the evening, he surruptiously paid for my dinner, and had me take home the entire leftovers. Generous.
This morning, I open up my email and receive this: 100 Random Acts of Kindness link. My homework is the annonymous good deed and I find myself stuck at the usual things I always do. This ups the ante with great ideas.
May generosity show up at your door.
Send someone a hand written note of thanks.
Make a card at home and send it to a friend for no reason.
Buy a lottery ticket for a stranger.
Put some coins in someone else’s parking meter.
Cut your neighbor’s hedge.
Walk your friend’s dog.
Give a compliment about your waiter/waitress to his/her manager.
Send someone a small gift anonymously.
Stop and help someone replace their flat tire.
Let someone jump the line at the bank.
Pay for the drinks on the next table at a café.
Treat a friend to the movies for no reason.
Give a huge tip to someone when they least expect it.
Hold the train door open for someone rushing to get in.
Give up your seat for someone, not just an elderly person.
Write notes of appreciation at least once a week.
Talk to a homeless person and have a “normal” conversation.
Pick up some rubbish in the road which would otherwise be lying around.
Compliment a work colleague for their excellence.
Recommend a competitor to a potential client.
Give another driver your parking spot.
Give a piece of fruit to a delivery person.
Help an elderly neighbor carry the rubbish out.
Tell all your family members how much your appreciate them.
Leave a copy of an interesting book on a train/bus.
Buy an inspirational book for a friend.
Send a thank you note to a person who has helped you in the past.
Smile a lot.
Once you get started, you may find it a habit hard to break!
For even more inspiration, and support from other people who are passionate about passing on kindness to others, check out The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation at www.ActsOfKindness.org.
In cleaning up Nina's bedroom aka storage room (in my quest to collect Nina stuff for taking to Europe) I came across 15 telephone directories - all huge. I walked outside, and yet another set was waiting for me on the driveway, and as I brought it in, I noticed one more sitting on the desk waiting to be moved.
I went to dinner with David last night for our Velocity group meeting and requested we sit at a table since my legs dangle in booths and the table reaches up to my chin (well almost). I thanked him for his generosity. Part of our initiative is "Granting Being." So I could have made him wrong during the evening, I granted being and placed myself in acceptance (which equates to love). He settled, opened up, and started sharing also how great his life was and how much he had accomplished in a short space of time. At the end of the evening, he surruptiously paid for my dinner, and had me take home the entire leftovers. Generous.
This morning, I open up my email and receive this: 100 Random Acts of Kindness link. My homework is the annonymous good deed and I find myself stuck at the usual things I always do. This ups the ante with great ideas.
May generosity show up at your door.
Send someone a hand written note of thanks.
Make a card at home and send it to a friend for no reason.
Buy a lottery ticket for a stranger.
Put some coins in someone else’s parking meter.
Cut your neighbor’s hedge.
Walk your friend’s dog.
Give a compliment about your waiter/waitress to his/her manager.
Send someone a small gift anonymously.
Stop and help someone replace their flat tire.
Let someone jump the line at the bank.
Pay for the drinks on the next table at a café.
Treat a friend to the movies for no reason.
Give a huge tip to someone when they least expect it.
Hold the train door open for someone rushing to get in.
Give up your seat for someone, not just an elderly person.
Write notes of appreciation at least once a week.
Talk to a homeless person and have a “normal” conversation.
Pick up some rubbish in the road which would otherwise be lying around.
Compliment a work colleague for their excellence.
Recommend a competitor to a potential client.
Give another driver your parking spot.
Give a piece of fruit to a delivery person.
Help an elderly neighbor carry the rubbish out.
Tell all your family members how much your appreciate them.
Leave a copy of an interesting book on a train/bus.
Buy an inspirational book for a friend.
Send a thank you note to a person who has helped you in the past.
Smile a lot.
Once you get started, you may find it a habit hard to break!
For even more inspiration, and support from other people who are passionate about passing on kindness to others, check out The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation at www.ActsOfKindness.org.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
My Art Work
The one with the green nest is the least resolved. The fabric just sits on the paper and is unrelated to the rest of the work. I will work on it tomorrow. For the most part, everything is complete - perhaps the occasional tweaking (small). It will be interesting to see if the leaves stay green under gel medium or if they turn brown.
The nest represents self, identity. We are receiving to what's around us, symbols, imagery, and making sense of it, self reconstructed, changing moment by moment.
Wisdom Journal
It's back to journaling for Wisdom. The initiative is Granting Being. Allowing whoever is in front of me to be all of themselves, fully expressed, however that shows up. It's a new muscle to practice with, and last night it took a whole lot for me to be present to granting being. My friend was rude, saying mean things, and I was granting being. This was not fun and left me perplexed with this new assignment.
Today I spoke to Cherri (my coach) and discovered I can still step up and say something to have him reflect on where his comments could be coming from, if perhaps he was looking for a reaction, and what might that reaction be. Leading someone into an inquiry is not about making wrong, judging, it's having an opportunity for revelation. Often we are trapped into doing, automatically saying that we no longer think about what's beneath that, what drives those comments? Sometimes freedom and relatedness comes when we realize we don't have to do that anymore.
My good annonymous deed has been geared to traffic, letting cars a space to move in or out of, easing off the gas pedal, tidying up my eating area, pushing the chair in, when I'm working out re-setting the weights to 0. Basically cleaning up, picking up after myself so someone else doesn't have to, ensuring the place is welcoming when I leave.
My Velocity course is truly amazing. I am present to my creating results, how, why, and when results are being created and who I am being around results. I've always had it that I need 33 hours to create a work of art. This weekend I am whipping through unusual small art creations in the space of hours and declaring them complete. Unlike the past, it's not based on have to, it's due, or looking good. It's just about being adventurous and playful and loving everything that turns up. I get to make tons of marks, get lost in the moment and try something different. Paper Machie on paper with twigs/leaves and soft pastel. Tons of fun.
I emailed the art teachers and invited them to play with me in art this summer. Perhaps I can pull together a community of artists - that would be awesome.
One last artwork...
Today I spoke to Cherri (my coach) and discovered I can still step up and say something to have him reflect on where his comments could be coming from, if perhaps he was looking for a reaction, and what might that reaction be. Leading someone into an inquiry is not about making wrong, judging, it's having an opportunity for revelation. Often we are trapped into doing, automatically saying that we no longer think about what's beneath that, what drives those comments? Sometimes freedom and relatedness comes when we realize we don't have to do that anymore.
My good annonymous deed has been geared to traffic, letting cars a space to move in or out of, easing off the gas pedal, tidying up my eating area, pushing the chair in, when I'm working out re-setting the weights to 0. Basically cleaning up, picking up after myself so someone else doesn't have to, ensuring the place is welcoming when I leave.
My Velocity course is truly amazing. I am present to my creating results, how, why, and when results are being created and who I am being around results. I've always had it that I need 33 hours to create a work of art. This weekend I am whipping through unusual small art creations in the space of hours and declaring them complete. Unlike the past, it's not based on have to, it's due, or looking good. It's just about being adventurous and playful and loving everything that turns up. I get to make tons of marks, get lost in the moment and try something different. Paper Machie on paper with twigs/leaves and soft pastel. Tons of fun.
I emailed the art teachers and invited them to play with me in art this summer. Perhaps I can pull together a community of artists - that would be awesome.
One last artwork...
Monday, June 9, 2008
Fresh Insight
This weekend I took a class called: Understanding Men and Sex. It was truly insightful. I cleared my sexual history, really got to see how sex is for men from their perspective, can differentiate clearly from lust and a loving relationship - see the impact of not knowing has had on my life. Mike noticed immediately that I was more confident around him. I can clearly see how he sees me as beautiful.
Today, I went to the gym - and it wasn't to have my body beautiful for a guy, it was to build strength for personal gain. The best part of taking workshops aimed for personal growth and development is the peace of mind, acceptance, and allowance for the other person to exist in their full potential.
Today, it's Velocity meeting at Nellos, 7pm with coursework complete. My intention is to have 10 completed artworks portfolio ready by the end of 1 1/2 months, and submit to a Paper Exhibit in July. Who I am as possibility around my project is magnificient self-expression. The title for my project is: Creative Exploration.
Presently, who I am around producing results is someone who gets busy to hide and not be related to people, I go into survival mode to get it done, need adrenaline to complete it in a slap dash manner, leaving many projects unfinished. Through Velocity I'm looking to train myself in getting breakthrough results that I apply to every aspect of my life.
Today, I went to the gym - and it wasn't to have my body beautiful for a guy, it was to build strength for personal gain. The best part of taking workshops aimed for personal growth and development is the peace of mind, acceptance, and allowance for the other person to exist in their full potential.
Today, it's Velocity meeting at Nellos, 7pm with coursework complete. My intention is to have 10 completed artworks portfolio ready by the end of 1 1/2 months, and submit to a Paper Exhibit in July. Who I am as possibility around my project is magnificient self-expression. The title for my project is: Creative Exploration.
Presently, who I am around producing results is someone who gets busy to hide and not be related to people, I go into survival mode to get it done, need adrenaline to complete it in a slap dash manner, leaving many projects unfinished. Through Velocity I'm looking to train myself in getting breakthrough results that I apply to every aspect of my life.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Breakdowns and Breakthroughs
I am present that when I'm out of integrity, everything else shows up in my life as being out of integrity. For instance, my participants who need to contact me consistently cannot for whatever reason follow through on their word. I set the alarm for the wrong time and did not follow through on my accountablility call... and so it goes. Kinda like the dominos effect. Look in one area in of life where it's not working and check it out - see how it shows up in the other areas. Clearly, I have a "thing" for numbers/times. Yesterday, I said I'd be at the movie for the 6:30pm show - I was there exactly at 6:30pm. Something inside my head did not trigger to meet for 6:10pm to make sure we get the tickets, popcorn, find nice seats... I need to be responsible for numbers/times.
So life gives me and everyone else breakdowns, where upsets happen. It's pulling those breakdowns that breakthroughs happen, as opposed to working around it, pretending it doesn't exist, hiding it.
I can see elements of my conversation where I am given to being taken care of, or being rescued. I even said that it's great that Mike can kayak because he can "rescue" me during our moonlight kayak lesson. He said he does not rescue anyone around water. Great answer. The one person that gets to rescue me is me. I've done that my whole adult single life care of myself and others.
These are younger age conversations looking to be upgraded to who I am today.
Leaving you with this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4
So life gives me and everyone else breakdowns, where upsets happen. It's pulling those breakdowns that breakthroughs happen, as opposed to working around it, pretending it doesn't exist, hiding it.
I can see elements of my conversation where I am given to being taken care of, or being rescued. I even said that it's great that Mike can kayak because he can "rescue" me during our moonlight kayak lesson. He said he does not rescue anyone around water. Great answer. The one person that gets to rescue me is me. I've done that my whole adult single life care of myself and others.
These are younger age conversations looking to be upgraded to who I am today.
Leaving you with this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Mixing it Up
Last night I checked out for the first time Drag Lounge Blues dancing. It is a sensual mix of salsa and bacchata. In one lesson (their second last of a series) we covered basic, lunge, double turn out, free spin into lunge, side step, and the skip - all with hip movement. Interesting that it came out of Black social dancing, remaining an underground dance second to Swing dancing and stays in its same flavour today.
Yesterday my art students went outside the second time for plein air landscape pastel, practical design students worked on researching Toy Inventions (5 my choice, 5 their choice, 5 global with comparison and contrast). These last two days have been a breather and break from what's predictable. 24 days left of teaching and learning need to mix things up and I need to go in to pack up the storage room for our May 15th move into the new building. These last two days were a break from assigning lunch detentions for those who are so very far behind their watercolor painting. Yes, I get to hang out with my friends.
Heather borrowed me to go Kentucky Derby hat and shoe shopping at Arizona Mills. I discovered a whole slew of stores for smaller sizes, and also learned how to exit without getting lost. Way cool. She was successful with a medium brim $8 hat, $10 shawl, and $20 beautiful and comfortable navy pumps. We did walk out of Nieman Marcus last chance store stunned with their special price of $275 down from $700 for a pair of shoes. Some of them quite beautiful.
Tomorrow, it's dim sum with art teachers as a closing celebration, then scoot from Chandler to North Scottsdale to Ayala Bar jewelry party with friends, head on over to Little Rangoon at Scottsdale and Shea to host their Burmese and Water Festival (first of its kind here) for the Meet Up group with 12 participants. So much fun when I post something on the calendar I get so many as a "yes."
Today is my free day to catch up, laundry, go to school, pack, and hang out with Mike.
I absolutely love my life
there's so much freedom
aliveness
and
joy
Yesterday my art students went outside the second time for plein air landscape pastel, practical design students worked on researching Toy Inventions (5 my choice, 5 their choice, 5 global with comparison and contrast). These last two days have been a breather and break from what's predictable. 24 days left of teaching and learning need to mix things up and I need to go in to pack up the storage room for our May 15th move into the new building. These last two days were a break from assigning lunch detentions for those who are so very far behind their watercolor painting. Yes, I get to hang out with my friends.
Heather borrowed me to go Kentucky Derby hat and shoe shopping at Arizona Mills. I discovered a whole slew of stores for smaller sizes, and also learned how to exit without getting lost. Way cool. She was successful with a medium brim $8 hat, $10 shawl, and $20 beautiful and comfortable navy pumps. We did walk out of Nieman Marcus last chance store stunned with their special price of $275 down from $700 for a pair of shoes. Some of them quite beautiful.
Tomorrow, it's dim sum with art teachers as a closing celebration, then scoot from Chandler to North Scottsdale to Ayala Bar jewelry party with friends, head on over to Little Rangoon at Scottsdale and Shea to host their Burmese and Water Festival (first of its kind here) for the Meet Up group with 12 participants. So much fun when I post something on the calendar I get so many as a "yes."
Today is my free day to catch up, laundry, go to school, pack, and hang out with Mike.
I absolutely love my life
there's so much freedom
aliveness
and
joy
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Memory Game
This has everything to growing those dendrites, it's what I keep telling my students, everything you do in this class is to grow dendrites. It bypasses that argument of how is this relevant to my life as a doctor/accountant/lawyer... except this site is for everyone and anyone out there in or out of school.
http://www.happy-neuron.com/
On Saturday I went for my City Team training, and it's so wonderful that we are to get out of being in an assisting agreement twice more than we put in. So there's a whole bunch of "what's in it for me" to balance off the whole idea of being contribution. Nurturing and replenishing the self first to be of service.
Being with and allowing the other to be with themselves and you is huge. The creation of a space to exist for everything you are and everything you are not. Acceptance. Loving of the other is acceptance.
Having and doing is the act of surviving, we do abc to have xyz. What do we need to do next, and then we'll have the results that we want which leads into being .... happy, successful.....
Living a life you love goes beyond surviving.
In connecting with the other, it's being, how you are being to be related: as in being a jerk, being considerate, being generous, being abundant, being courageous... sometimes, we have to give up one state of being to take on another. Give up "being right" to take on being acceptance. It takes a special kind of listening for yourself, the space you're in, and the other to see what needs to happen. Our whole lives are given to being right, avoid dominating, dominating, resisting, we see it in movies, hear it in songs, read about it... to step into giving that kind of learned behavior up and take on being something that makes a difference takes courage. Something worthy, different, and unusual opens up for both parties.
It is in being that we are driven to do (our being drives our actions... being a jerk drives the action of harsh sounding words, gestures, and actions; being generous is held in the body, voice, gestures, actions...) in so doing then we end up having the results we crave, such as freedom, affinity, relatedness. Sometimes, it's the split second act of giving up a behavior and supplanting it with something that's powerful which will transform the situation immediately.
Here's an example. I was starving before my Lindy Hop class. Walked into a place, picked up chocolate nuts and water bottle and waited in line to pay. The young guy was taking his forever time to haul out his wallet, take out his change (you know the story). I was being the jerk, rolling my eyes, body language tight, tapping foot, sigh. I could totally tell this was not cool behavior and my starving stomach was unhappy. Being a jerk is held in the body, break the body language and it breaks the pattern. Since I couldn't mentally give up my discomfort. I physically changed my stance, literally shook my arms, looked up, puffed my chest up, took a breathe, smiled. Immediately, I saw the impact of my behavior.
The teller and young man were tense, constrained, and each making the other wrong, glaring, looking down. I immediately said I was sorry for my behavior, told him to take his time (all with real smiles and warm voice). He then said it was his first time he had eaten since the morning (it was 5pm). In that moment everyone was relaxed and the tension lifted. My whole occuring world shifted to one of peace, acceptance, and love.
It takes one person to change a relationship.
Will that be you?
http://www.happy-neuron.com/
On Saturday I went for my City Team training, and it's so wonderful that we are to get out of being in an assisting agreement twice more than we put in. So there's a whole bunch of "what's in it for me" to balance off the whole idea of being contribution. Nurturing and replenishing the self first to be of service.
Being with and allowing the other to be with themselves and you is huge. The creation of a space to exist for everything you are and everything you are not. Acceptance. Loving of the other is acceptance.
Having and doing is the act of surviving, we do abc to have xyz. What do we need to do next, and then we'll have the results that we want which leads into being .... happy, successful.....
Living a life you love goes beyond surviving.
In connecting with the other, it's being, how you are being to be related: as in being a jerk, being considerate, being generous, being abundant, being courageous... sometimes, we have to give up one state of being to take on another. Give up "being right" to take on being acceptance. It takes a special kind of listening for yourself, the space you're in, and the other to see what needs to happen. Our whole lives are given to being right, avoid dominating, dominating, resisting, we see it in movies, hear it in songs, read about it... to step into giving that kind of learned behavior up and take on being something that makes a difference takes courage. Something worthy, different, and unusual opens up for both parties.
It is in being that we are driven to do (our being drives our actions... being a jerk drives the action of harsh sounding words, gestures, and actions; being generous is held in the body, voice, gestures, actions...) in so doing then we end up having the results we crave, such as freedom, affinity, relatedness. Sometimes, it's the split second act of giving up a behavior and supplanting it with something that's powerful which will transform the situation immediately.
Here's an example. I was starving before my Lindy Hop class. Walked into a place, picked up chocolate nuts and water bottle and waited in line to pay. The young guy was taking his forever time to haul out his wallet, take out his change (you know the story). I was being the jerk, rolling my eyes, body language tight, tapping foot, sigh. I could totally tell this was not cool behavior and my starving stomach was unhappy. Being a jerk is held in the body, break the body language and it breaks the pattern. Since I couldn't mentally give up my discomfort. I physically changed my stance, literally shook my arms, looked up, puffed my chest up, took a breathe, smiled. Immediately, I saw the impact of my behavior.
The teller and young man were tense, constrained, and each making the other wrong, glaring, looking down. I immediately said I was sorry for my behavior, told him to take his time (all with real smiles and warm voice). He then said it was his first time he had eaten since the morning (it was 5pm). In that moment everyone was relaxed and the tension lifted. My whole occuring world shifted to one of peace, acceptance, and love.
It takes one person to change a relationship.
Will that be you?
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Settling the Self
In choosing everything that it is and everything it isn't creates a powerful context for life. Placing the self in driver mode brings on a sense of acceptance. Everything in life is exactly the way you designed or created it. How it falls, lands, opens up, the direction and path taken, all driven by one person.
Choice takes out the "being carried through life" mode. Grounded in choice is really a moment to confront what it looks like to be living your life. It's very matter of fact, it's just the way it is. Energy is re-directed because "I choose" is at the source of your own power to give life direction. Accepting removes all that energy given into resisting what isn't, frees the self into seeing something previously undefined.
Choice removes victim language: blaming, making someone wrong, anger, annoyance, frustration, wishing, living in the past. "I choose" frees up the individual to find solutions and/or accept, to be 100% present, living out there and not in the head.
Career wise, this is the time period called "reflection" where the teacher feels settled, everything comes together with a good sense of the culture, the program, and success is reached in just about every sphere. Output matches or outstrips energy input, results are positive, the kids are working well, on task behavior, less communicated frustration all round. Plans for the new school year begin perculating in the head. The individual lives into the future of possibilities, beyond survival.
The Effectiveness class defines these methods of being effective: Formulation, planning what needs to happen, when, how - something that's been vastly missing in my latest undertakings; Concentration, working at making it happen, where my energy input out matches results; momentum where things take off with a life of it's own while still being in action; and then stability where minimal effort is needed to keep it operational.
Interesting that in applying these "distinctions" to the project (creating an art exhibit for select art teachers), I find myself effortlessly effective as a teacher, prepping in advance, keeping up with student work, rotating and scanning consistently, using a kinder tone of voice, and actually having a clear desk at day's end. Focusing on learning "how to" in one area of life is like unraveling a knitted thread, just pull and everything is connected.
Chocolate, vanilla - choose
Choice takes out the "being carried through life" mode. Grounded in choice is really a moment to confront what it looks like to be living your life. It's very matter of fact, it's just the way it is. Energy is re-directed because "I choose" is at the source of your own power to give life direction. Accepting removes all that energy given into resisting what isn't, frees the self into seeing something previously undefined.
Choice removes victim language: blaming, making someone wrong, anger, annoyance, frustration, wishing, living in the past. "I choose" frees up the individual to find solutions and/or accept, to be 100% present, living out there and not in the head.
Career wise, this is the time period called "reflection" where the teacher feels settled, everything comes together with a good sense of the culture, the program, and success is reached in just about every sphere. Output matches or outstrips energy input, results are positive, the kids are working well, on task behavior, less communicated frustration all round. Plans for the new school year begin perculating in the head. The individual lives into the future of possibilities, beyond survival.
The Effectiveness class defines these methods of being effective: Formulation, planning what needs to happen, when, how - something that's been vastly missing in my latest undertakings; Concentration, working at making it happen, where my energy input out matches results; momentum where things take off with a life of it's own while still being in action; and then stability where minimal effort is needed to keep it operational.
Interesting that in applying these "distinctions" to the project (creating an art exhibit for select art teachers), I find myself effortlessly effective as a teacher, prepping in advance, keeping up with student work, rotating and scanning consistently, using a kinder tone of voice, and actually having a clear desk at day's end. Focusing on learning "how to" in one area of life is like unraveling a knitted thread, just pull and everything is connected.
Chocolate, vanilla - choose
Friday, March 28, 2008
Leadership
This is living into the future of almost finished. The District Honors art show is complete. In preparing for the event there are different kinds of leaders; the dictator who directs everything, the facilitator who allows other's strengths to take over, and the abdicator who does nothing. Many teachers like the whole sense of control over minute detail. That would not be me, and I'm thankful to be surrounded by detail, schedule oriented individuals.
In the space of planning, pulling together the event I tapped into the strengths of powerful players. Kelli had already organized the structure, where/when/how last year as lead, we as a committee had 98% of the teachers wanting it as a District art show. We even had dance, theater, orchestra performing.
Then as the event unfolded voices found forum around the letter/program design, posters, certificates. I made my fair share of ooops, re-writes, and slip ups. Hah! The evening was a huge success. A majority showed up, and a core group stayed to help wrap up. Today, Richard, Allison and myself packed and sorted the display panels with play, song, and smiles.
The reverberations of positives was truly outstanding. All our administrators were present - huge victory as none have ever attended previously. Everyone loved the location. Interesting, the consistently unhappy voices stayed unhappy and found things to be unhappy about and that was okay. The forward thinkers took initiative and became productive about setbacks, marvellous. I want them at my side when something critical happens.
What I learned about myself is that I do put my ideas out there to the committee and wait for their response. At some point, there is no response, I make a decision and just do it. I am in action and will accept the impact of my choice. It used to be I would wait for everyone else to share and then I'd say something - or not, be safe.
As a leader I receive a lot of flack - those unhappy individuals will murmur, rumble, grumble, and moan and I'm at the receiving end. It's totally about them and their dis - ease. I take responsibility for loss of integrity (my slip ups) and give them their voice. It's all about community and relating.
I can see why I worked so hard to avoid leadership, play it safe, keep a low profile. Now that I've a taste of being in the forefront, making things happen, I can see why people love it and are drawn to leadership, thirsty for more. All that discomfort around change is well worth the result of drawing out other's strengths to bring about a collaborative success.
Two months of Lead District Art Teacher, one meeting with studio work, one party meeting at the end, and I hand over the title to my friend and co-worker Susan. I will be complete with my leadership in grand scale. Learning to lead is ongoing. We are all born leaders - we just have to give ourselves permission to explore that terrain and find our style. Claim our birthright.
The inner city teacher is thankful 8th graders graduate and go onto high school and have the opportunity to get a job stacking supermarket shelves. The upscale suburban teacher speaks to the students as future world leaders who have a huge impact on the society. We live into the language we speak about ourselves and we create others in language.
In the space of planning, pulling together the event I tapped into the strengths of powerful players. Kelli had already organized the structure, where/when/how last year as lead, we as a committee had 98% of the teachers wanting it as a District art show. We even had dance, theater, orchestra performing.
Then as the event unfolded voices found forum around the letter/program design, posters, certificates. I made my fair share of ooops, re-writes, and slip ups. Hah! The evening was a huge success. A majority showed up, and a core group stayed to help wrap up. Today, Richard, Allison and myself packed and sorted the display panels with play, song, and smiles.
The reverberations of positives was truly outstanding. All our administrators were present - huge victory as none have ever attended previously. Everyone loved the location. Interesting, the consistently unhappy voices stayed unhappy and found things to be unhappy about and that was okay. The forward thinkers took initiative and became productive about setbacks, marvellous. I want them at my side when something critical happens.
What I learned about myself is that I do put my ideas out there to the committee and wait for their response. At some point, there is no response, I make a decision and just do it. I am in action and will accept the impact of my choice. It used to be I would wait for everyone else to share and then I'd say something - or not, be safe.
As a leader I receive a lot of flack - those unhappy individuals will murmur, rumble, grumble, and moan and I'm at the receiving end. It's totally about them and their dis - ease. I take responsibility for loss of integrity (my slip ups) and give them their voice. It's all about community and relating.
I can see why I worked so hard to avoid leadership, play it safe, keep a low profile. Now that I've a taste of being in the forefront, making things happen, I can see why people love it and are drawn to leadership, thirsty for more. All that discomfort around change is well worth the result of drawing out other's strengths to bring about a collaborative success.
Two months of Lead District Art Teacher, one meeting with studio work, one party meeting at the end, and I hand over the title to my friend and co-worker Susan. I will be complete with my leadership in grand scale. Learning to lead is ongoing. We are all born leaders - we just have to give ourselves permission to explore that terrain and find our style. Claim our birthright.
The inner city teacher is thankful 8th graders graduate and go onto high school and have the opportunity to get a job stacking supermarket shelves. The upscale suburban teacher speaks to the students as future world leaders who have a huge impact on the society. We live into the language we speak about ourselves and we create others in language.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Swing Dancing
Swing dancing is truly amazing, it's a unique conversation to have using a whole other dimension and integrates all the phsyical senses in silence. The reaction is immediate and requires being present, or lost.
Swing culture does not discriminate, you can dance, you say yes and you're on the dance floor. Tall, short, no fingers, one leg shorter than the other - you can dance. Time flashes by through play, laughter, movement, as various partners revolve through the music. We are all fed with the need for human touch where hugs, side pecks are abolished as safe greeting practice and shoulder pats relegated to the few deserving.
Ladies know guys names long before getting to know each other, same with guys. Some are there soley to dance, others in a mate search.
How a person asks you to dance, holds, sends out, spins, brings in says so much about their nature: structured, loose, forgiving, bold, dynamic, flexible. How they correct you also tells you something about themselves: the hyper-critical little voice in their head, the gentle soft voice of concern, the non-emotional "just the facts" approach. How fast can they learn a dance step and make it their own - or can they? Do they give up easily or stay? Do they only ask safe partners that make them look good? Truly fascinating.
We are used to a culture of expressive spoken language, and within the dance community a whole different world of language exposes us through behavior. Who are we for each other, how we relate through the medium of dance, we represent a small proportion of the population who enjoy moving our bodies through music. Used to be every culture, every age integrated dance ritual as norm.
There is a distinct difference between dancing with the other and dancing by yourself. Sometimes it's easier to get lost into the music and forget the other exists, ideally it's the melding of the music, communication with the other which makes for a fabulous, fun moment.
My feet hurt, danced till 11:00 last night and the night before, and will do once again on Saturday night. It's March Break. Met Joan for lunch and she says there is a time for harvest in life. Harvest to her is: after she's worked through all the ups and downs, the kids are all grown up, have their own lives, she reaps the joy of enjoying her grandchildren. Her family is everything to her. She had her kids stay in State university so they would be married in State and perpetuate the next generation close at hand. I love her because she is centered, a far thinking woman for what works for her. This time round, Joan did not ask me any deep thinking questions, she gave whole bunches of insights, narratives, and examples. She was full of abundance.
There are not many things I'm truly committed to every day. Through my behaviors dance is a priority, building a relationship with Mike, maintaining my connection with Nina, being a teacher who makes a difference, oh and developing myself intrinsically - that's about it. Everything else is a side dish: volunteering, spending time with friends, discovering new places to eat/have fun, traveling, taking on leadership positions, working on my art, starting a new exhibit for the art teachers, catching up on the house.
Behaviors says a lot about you, on the dance floor and off.
Swing culture does not discriminate, you can dance, you say yes and you're on the dance floor. Tall, short, no fingers, one leg shorter than the other - you can dance. Time flashes by through play, laughter, movement, as various partners revolve through the music. We are all fed with the need for human touch where hugs, side pecks are abolished as safe greeting practice and shoulder pats relegated to the few deserving.
Ladies know guys names long before getting to know each other, same with guys. Some are there soley to dance, others in a mate search.
How a person asks you to dance, holds, sends out, spins, brings in says so much about their nature: structured, loose, forgiving, bold, dynamic, flexible. How they correct you also tells you something about themselves: the hyper-critical little voice in their head, the gentle soft voice of concern, the non-emotional "just the facts" approach. How fast can they learn a dance step and make it their own - or can they? Do they give up easily or stay? Do they only ask safe partners that make them look good? Truly fascinating.
We are used to a culture of expressive spoken language, and within the dance community a whole different world of language exposes us through behavior. Who are we for each other, how we relate through the medium of dance, we represent a small proportion of the population who enjoy moving our bodies through music. Used to be every culture, every age integrated dance ritual as norm.
There is a distinct difference between dancing with the other and dancing by yourself. Sometimes it's easier to get lost into the music and forget the other exists, ideally it's the melding of the music, communication with the other which makes for a fabulous, fun moment.
My feet hurt, danced till 11:00 last night and the night before, and will do once again on Saturday night. It's March Break. Met Joan for lunch and she says there is a time for harvest in life. Harvest to her is: after she's worked through all the ups and downs, the kids are all grown up, have their own lives, she reaps the joy of enjoying her grandchildren. Her family is everything to her. She had her kids stay in State university so they would be married in State and perpetuate the next generation close at hand. I love her because she is centered, a far thinking woman for what works for her. This time round, Joan did not ask me any deep thinking questions, she gave whole bunches of insights, narratives, and examples. She was full of abundance.
There are not many things I'm truly committed to every day. Through my behaviors dance is a priority, building a relationship with Mike, maintaining my connection with Nina, being a teacher who makes a difference, oh and developing myself intrinsically - that's about it. Everything else is a side dish: volunteering, spending time with friends, discovering new places to eat/have fun, traveling, taking on leadership positions, working on my art, starting a new exhibit for the art teachers, catching up on the house.
Behaviors says a lot about you, on the dance floor and off.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Wisdom Journal
This is my second year of Wisdom, and this time as an Accomplishment Team Member. What does this mean? As graduate I sit at the back of the room along with 14 others and watch the participants process themselves and get their insights. We listen to their shares and learn who they are becoming.
My first weekend was this past one and what I saw was how my behavior was so much like theirs: significant, really have to do this, coming from a point of "there's something to fix." Today, none of that exists - just a sense of peacefulness and ease in taking any class or learning anything. Play comes easily to me, as in trying something from a whole different approach - physically, emotionally, mentally - more a sense of exploration.
People who have met me say I've grown/changed, and it's something I can't see for myself, until sitting in the back of the room, watching others who remind me of myself a year ago where play was non-existent and I was full of rigor with huge demands on myself and my time.
I get to repeat the Wisdom course in service - so it's free. In the room I am confronted with the conversation around being "transparent" since it's their course and about them. I lived the greater part of my life "hiding," hiding in the kitchen whipping up great foods, hiding behind the loudest person so I wouldn't have to speak. What came up for me is "I'm invisible once again." This time it's being transparent to be of service and having the opportunity to listen so who I am can make a difference in someone's insights. Sometimes a person needs to speak into someone's listening so they can be validated and see for themselves a life they want or need to release. Out of that growth happens on their part and mine. In hiding I am stifled, in transparency I am grounded.
What I want out of this course is the ability to listen to another in a way I have never done before, that's it's really about them, listen past their concerns to what's really needed, and allow them a space for creating themselves in adult as possibility. Generous listening.
I am continually confronted by my integrity, honoring my word, the integrity within my community - how did I contribute to breakdown, where does it need to be restored.
The second Wisdom Weekend is going to be in Alberqueque and we'll car pool with Anne offering her palatial home. Always wanted to hang out in Alberqueque - may even head off to Sante Fe with camera in tow.
One of the homework assignments this weekend was to amp up the feelings. However you are feelling in the moment, amp it up a little, turn up the volume a little. Right now I'm feeling raw and exposed, vulnerable, and it's okay. We live our lives stuffing feelings and emotions, our primary language, it's also how all thoughts get processed first - according to research.
My first weekend was this past one and what I saw was how my behavior was so much like theirs: significant, really have to do this, coming from a point of "there's something to fix." Today, none of that exists - just a sense of peacefulness and ease in taking any class or learning anything. Play comes easily to me, as in trying something from a whole different approach - physically, emotionally, mentally - more a sense of exploration.
People who have met me say I've grown/changed, and it's something I can't see for myself, until sitting in the back of the room, watching others who remind me of myself a year ago where play was non-existent and I was full of rigor with huge demands on myself and my time.
I get to repeat the Wisdom course in service - so it's free. In the room I am confronted with the conversation around being "transparent" since it's their course and about them. I lived the greater part of my life "hiding," hiding in the kitchen whipping up great foods, hiding behind the loudest person so I wouldn't have to speak. What came up for me is "I'm invisible once again." This time it's being transparent to be of service and having the opportunity to listen so who I am can make a difference in someone's insights. Sometimes a person needs to speak into someone's listening so they can be validated and see for themselves a life they want or need to release. Out of that growth happens on their part and mine. In hiding I am stifled, in transparency I am grounded.
What I want out of this course is the ability to listen to another in a way I have never done before, that's it's really about them, listen past their concerns to what's really needed, and allow them a space for creating themselves in adult as possibility. Generous listening.
I am continually confronted by my integrity, honoring my word, the integrity within my community - how did I contribute to breakdown, where does it need to be restored.
The second Wisdom Weekend is going to be in Alberqueque and we'll car pool with Anne offering her palatial home. Always wanted to hang out in Alberqueque - may even head off to Sante Fe with camera in tow.
One of the homework assignments this weekend was to amp up the feelings. However you are feelling in the moment, amp it up a little, turn up the volume a little. Right now I'm feeling raw and exposed, vulnerable, and it's okay. We live our lives stuffing feelings and emotions, our primary language, it's also how all thoughts get processed first - according to research.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Unitown Spirit
Returned from a truly interesting 6 week Unitown camp, taking 21 assorted high school students, 3 of which were counselors (last year grads). The essence of the camp is training for leadership in diversity (race, creed, sexuality, and the breaking of stereotypes). A truly powerful, life changing discourse taken on by the students. The counselors lead and we as advisors step back to facilitate where needed.
I heard many deep shares and in the end saw a coming together of 92 students as one embracing, loving body who are willing to stand together and make an impact on their community. Students talked about everything they could only whisper about in their heads, they became aware of how many others felt the same way, thought the same thoughts, and felt validated at the deepest level. We heard about students who had contemplated suicide, who felt there was no choice, no voice, and finally could be heard.
Students created thoughtful poems, songs, and shared them in closure during the last two nights; they created skits, role plays, posters for soulful expression. They celebrated each other, cried, laughed, and mourned their last moment together.
The cost maybe $50,000 for the District, the impact on each of their lives and their immediate community, its future so grand and such a gift to the world, we are blessed to have such a program.
Confronting themselves, their stories, their past so they could set it aside and heal - so forgiving, getting past the abuse by self and others. Transformation at its best and captured at such a young age. Students began as insular, self-protective beings and walked away with love as an expression for everyone.
This is why I teach; I am a stand that everyone sees how truly great they are and who they are as gift.
I heard many deep shares and in the end saw a coming together of 92 students as one embracing, loving body who are willing to stand together and make an impact on their community. Students talked about everything they could only whisper about in their heads, they became aware of how many others felt the same way, thought the same thoughts, and felt validated at the deepest level. We heard about students who had contemplated suicide, who felt there was no choice, no voice, and finally could be heard.
Students created thoughtful poems, songs, and shared them in closure during the last two nights; they created skits, role plays, posters for soulful expression. They celebrated each other, cried, laughed, and mourned their last moment together.
The cost maybe $50,000 for the District, the impact on each of their lives and their immediate community, its future so grand and such a gift to the world, we are blessed to have such a program.
Confronting themselves, their stories, their past so they could set it aside and heal - so forgiving, getting past the abuse by self and others. Transformation at its best and captured at such a young age. Students began as insular, self-protective beings and walked away with love as an expression for everyone.
This is why I teach; I am a stand that everyone sees how truly great they are and who they are as gift.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Productivity
Yes, I have discovered a plethora of UTube videos to learn from. There are gems from this one about organizing and having a system that works. I just started the "Effectiveness" class to produce breakthrough results in gaining access to moving a project from an intention into reality, to effectively manage its existence through the various stages that allow for actualized results.
We have a homework group, and mine is made up of 4 men: Lee, David, Mark, and Jaime. We meet at the 5 & Diner once a week, and it's pretty amazing. What I can count on them for is to be a listening for me as to how great I am. It's been pointed out that I cannot see who I am as a truly powerful person who intrinsically knows what to do. It is their promise for me to hold me accountable to myself. I get to be a stand for them in listening for their needs.
What a gift to be listened to in such a manner by men, in a way that has never happened before, and to have intense, authentic, no nonsense conversations with them that slates away the superficial and strikes at the heart of a universal core. There is no chemistry nonsense - it's all business, yet personal. Everything lands perfectly. I am also group leader.
The Effectiveness course is followed by the Velocity course, a truly dynamic way to close off my school year as Lead District Art Teacher and first year high school teacher. Abraham Maslow has a tiered hierarchical chart of human needs: physical, safety, spiritual. Need fulfillment accesses the next stage. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Maslow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qo7vUdKTlhk&eurl=http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2008/2/2/my-favorite-productivity-expert-speaks-at-google.aspx
We have a homework group, and mine is made up of 4 men: Lee, David, Mark, and Jaime. We meet at the 5 & Diner once a week, and it's pretty amazing. What I can count on them for is to be a listening for me as to how great I am. It's been pointed out that I cannot see who I am as a truly powerful person who intrinsically knows what to do. It is their promise for me to hold me accountable to myself. I get to be a stand for them in listening for their needs.
What a gift to be listened to in such a manner by men, in a way that has never happened before, and to have intense, authentic, no nonsense conversations with them that slates away the superficial and strikes at the heart of a universal core. There is no chemistry nonsense - it's all business, yet personal. Everything lands perfectly. I am also group leader.
The Effectiveness course is followed by the Velocity course, a truly dynamic way to close off my school year as Lead District Art Teacher and first year high school teacher. Abraham Maslow has a tiered hierarchical chart of human needs: physical, safety, spiritual. Need fulfillment accesses the next stage. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Maslow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qo7vUdKTlhk&eurl=http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2008/2/2/my-favorite-productivity-expert-speaks-at-google.aspx
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Quiet Impact
Interesting what a course can do to have an impact on how listening shifts. The play of listening for the underlying value, content, bringing into the conversation not knowing and accepting, all the while being present and engaged - participating. Relating is a lot of hard work and intellectually stimulating.
I am present to my life as choice. Everything I have, do, and be is all choice. Through Wisdom I understand we have a subset of conversations that keep one conversation alive and in disappearing that subset conversation we are empowered to disappear it, give it up, and take on a whole different kind of conversation and the way we see ourselves and others see us.
There are so many tools readily available and now it's being conscious of making choice and creating the filter through which I choose to view life and live into my future.
Suffering is optional
I choose to be alive, vital, thriving, growing, and connected
I am present to my life as choice. Everything I have, do, and be is all choice. Through Wisdom I understand we have a subset of conversations that keep one conversation alive and in disappearing that subset conversation we are empowered to disappear it, give it up, and take on a whole different kind of conversation and the way we see ourselves and others see us.
There are so many tools readily available and now it's being conscious of making choice and creating the filter through which I choose to view life and live into my future.
Suffering is optional
I choose to be alive, vital, thriving, growing, and connected
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women
Who is man to you?
What do you really think about men? No, really. Go ahead and make a list of every descriptive word out there that you can think of, all the good and not so great words.
Where do you get that idea that men are like that?
This is your frame of reference everytime you have conversation with man. That man exists all around you and in you too.
This is an amazing, absolutely phenomenal course every woman, every age needs. It's given by PAX and only for women. I have learned how I dimminish and disempower men without knowing and have been successfully doing this all my life.
http://www.understandmen.com/index.html
The other day with John I noticed he suddenly withdrew from the conversation, sat back, crossed his arms, and looked at me funny. I stopped and asked him what is it I said or did that had him disconnect, and he had no idea, although we noticed that something happened. I am a stand that every person be fully self-expressed with me, no matter what, and it was not happening.
After this course I totally know exactly what I had said and done that zapped his sense of him as man and king. The only thing he could do was withdraw from me, and he would have no idea I did that to him. Wow. I called John and apologized in general for whatever I might have said/done that would have him be that way and he was great with accepting it.
When a man is allowed to be totally who he is for himself, the man, then he can be there for me in a way I can enjoy. Both our needs are fulfilled. I know how to be able to have the kind of communication I have always wanted, to understand where he is coming from, how we think differently unlike what's out there in the books. This saves me soooo much frustration - you know all those times women get together and have "that conversation" about I don't get him... done.
I had a wonderful conversation with Mike, asking all kinds of questions and getting in depth and insightful straight answers resulting in an immediate understanding about him that I never had before. The palpable space of love was present.
We have masculine and feminine modes, and I can embrace both aspects and identify when I access them, or when he or she is in one of them. I know when to hold my peace so he/she can finish think and focus time so they can actually hear me. How many of you have spoken to someone, given information and later they look at you with surprise - you spoke to me about that? It's not personal.
We had a panel of four random men (yes Karen went out and found 4 guys out there) who volunteered to sit on a panel, respond to written questions (ours) and we were a captive, silent audience. They were just great, direct, to the point, and no kidding straight about their answers. They exemplified everything we had learned in the course, and we could also see their different male stages in life and how that looks as they relate to each other through the question posed. They could interject and give different viewpoints.
I heard their frustrations about relating to women who don't "get them" and how they just wanted to be there for us. I heard how when a woman operates out of not knowing it is interpreted as wimpy, out of integrity, two faced, manipulative, confusing. Relationship is needs based, and if I know what you need, I can make better choices - as can you.
Relating to men is truly very simple. Our society would have it otherwise - look at TV, movies, listen to music, e-spam, we have an adverserial relationship. Through this workshop, I've learned to work in partnership - what I've always wanted, strived for, thought I was doing. I get to see men as gifts, enriching my life and that of women all round - if only we let them without diminishing who they are.
Take the course, read the book and have an open mind, set aside the skeptisim and see what's available for you and every man in your life.
What do you really think about men? No, really. Go ahead and make a list of every descriptive word out there that you can think of, all the good and not so great words.
Where do you get that idea that men are like that?
This is your frame of reference everytime you have conversation with man. That man exists all around you and in you too.
This is an amazing, absolutely phenomenal course every woman, every age needs. It's given by PAX and only for women. I have learned how I dimminish and disempower men without knowing and have been successfully doing this all my life.
http://www.understandmen.com/index.html
The other day with John I noticed he suddenly withdrew from the conversation, sat back, crossed his arms, and looked at me funny. I stopped and asked him what is it I said or did that had him disconnect, and he had no idea, although we noticed that something happened. I am a stand that every person be fully self-expressed with me, no matter what, and it was not happening.
After this course I totally know exactly what I had said and done that zapped his sense of him as man and king. The only thing he could do was withdraw from me, and he would have no idea I did that to him. Wow. I called John and apologized in general for whatever I might have said/done that would have him be that way and he was great with accepting it.
When a man is allowed to be totally who he is for himself, the man, then he can be there for me in a way I can enjoy. Both our needs are fulfilled. I know how to be able to have the kind of communication I have always wanted, to understand where he is coming from, how we think differently unlike what's out there in the books. This saves me soooo much frustration - you know all those times women get together and have "that conversation" about I don't get him... done.
I had a wonderful conversation with Mike, asking all kinds of questions and getting in depth and insightful straight answers resulting in an immediate understanding about him that I never had before. The palpable space of love was present.
We have masculine and feminine modes, and I can embrace both aspects and identify when I access them, or when he or she is in one of them. I know when to hold my peace so he/she can finish think and focus time so they can actually hear me. How many of you have spoken to someone, given information and later they look at you with surprise - you spoke to me about that? It's not personal.
We had a panel of four random men (yes Karen went out and found 4 guys out there) who volunteered to sit on a panel, respond to written questions (ours) and we were a captive, silent audience. They were just great, direct, to the point, and no kidding straight about their answers. They exemplified everything we had learned in the course, and we could also see their different male stages in life and how that looks as they relate to each other through the question posed. They could interject and give different viewpoints.
I heard their frustrations about relating to women who don't "get them" and how they just wanted to be there for us. I heard how when a woman operates out of not knowing it is interpreted as wimpy, out of integrity, two faced, manipulative, confusing. Relationship is needs based, and if I know what you need, I can make better choices - as can you.
Relating to men is truly very simple. Our society would have it otherwise - look at TV, movies, listen to music, e-spam, we have an adverserial relationship. Through this workshop, I've learned to work in partnership - what I've always wanted, strived for, thought I was doing. I get to see men as gifts, enriching my life and that of women all round - if only we let them without diminishing who they are.
Take the course, read the book and have an open mind, set aside the skeptisim and see what's available for you and every man in your life.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Happy New Year
First I give immense thanks for all the learning, growing, transformation, gifts bestowed, openess, loving, kindness from all my friends, non-friends, family, environment. I am blessed with abundance, joy, peace, and inspiration.
Interesting how as one year closes all those feelings and thoughts are triggered and the noise of unfinished business burbles to the surface. Little did I know that I have an unfinished conversation about trust issues and men until that was triggered. I did all the Landmark things of tracing it to its root source so I could get freedom from my seeming. The pattern of behavior or perspective I've always had and consistently bring into every relationship with men is obvious when I look over the past.
So cool that tomorrow I have a workshop "Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women" given by PAX, designed by a woman who is coincidently a Lmk graduate. It lasts for two days and on the second day we have a panel of men who get to honestly give their answers to our queries. I'm truly excited about the upcoming course. So cool, little did I know that it was exactly what I needed to start the new year. That whole saying that the Universe gives to you precisely what you need and ask for...
John asked me today when will I be done taking classes. Given that it is my onus to maximize my potential, I guess the answer is I'll always take classes. He tells his students when they know everything about playing the bass then it will be time to stop learning.
Every year I begin it with resolutions, a list of to dos: what I want for myself is to be great in everything I am so that others get all of me as gift to them. I totally see that I am unique and have something valuable to others so they may have a rich life, and keeping that to myself is having an impact on their life. With this thought, everything else will fall into place and is secondary. Perhaps what I'm having at play is being of service, taking the focus off the me and seeing what's in it for society - having a huge impact on other's lives. We all die. This year will come to another end.
What difference would it all make?
What difference do you make?
Interesting how as one year closes all those feelings and thoughts are triggered and the noise of unfinished business burbles to the surface. Little did I know that I have an unfinished conversation about trust issues and men until that was triggered. I did all the Landmark things of tracing it to its root source so I could get freedom from my seeming. The pattern of behavior or perspective I've always had and consistently bring into every relationship with men is obvious when I look over the past.
Our homework tip is to "give it up" so I give up not trusting the male species and create for myself the willingness to being related, vulnerable and open in living my life fully, every moment with abandon.
So cool that tomorrow I have a workshop "Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women" given by PAX, designed by a woman who is coincidently a Lmk graduate. It lasts for two days and on the second day we have a panel of men who get to honestly give their answers to our queries. I'm truly excited about the upcoming course. So cool, little did I know that it was exactly what I needed to start the new year. That whole saying that the Universe gives to you precisely what you need and ask for...
John asked me today when will I be done taking classes. Given that it is my onus to maximize my potential, I guess the answer is I'll always take classes. He tells his students when they know everything about playing the bass then it will be time to stop learning.
Every year I begin it with resolutions, a list of to dos: what I want for myself is to be great in everything I am so that others get all of me as gift to them. I totally see that I am unique and have something valuable to others so they may have a rich life, and keeping that to myself is having an impact on their life. With this thought, everything else will fall into place and is secondary. Perhaps what I'm having at play is being of service, taking the focus off the me and seeing what's in it for society - having a huge impact on other's lives. We all die. This year will come to another end.
What difference would it all make?
What difference do you make?
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